Welcome to Miss Strawberry's Cafe: You're worth it!

"...I am wonderfully and fearfully made..." Psalm 139:14

I've painfully struggled for such a huge portion of my short life before realizing my worth. Before I could remember, I had internalized a way of always calculating my worth based on external factors - mostly based on the opinions of those whose say I really cared about. We all want approval, whether it's from our family and friends, our boss and coworkers, or even from strangers passing by that we don't really even know that well.

It's about seeking acceptance and belonging, and in doing so, we all too often settle for so much less.

We are wonderfully, beautifully, fearfully made and don't need to seek the validation of others in order for our worth to be measured.

Each of us is precious. Our worth is immeasurable.

One of my very good friends and former allies from the Public Allies program recently became a Community Youth Organizer for an organization called Focus on Renewal (FOR Sto-Rox), which provides a variety of education services and advocacy for the McKees Rocks and Stowe Township community.

On Saturday, Oct. 16, 2010, she hosted an event to help curb domestic violence called "I'm Worth It!" - a free day of pampering for girls 12 years and older. As the girls received free manicures, make up, and nutrition tips, they learned about the warning signs and risks of being in an abusive relationship. Of course, I jumped at the opportunity to support my friend and such a worthwhile event and decided to bake some lovely cookies to spread sweetness to some lovely ladies.

1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime.

I was the one in four.

Several years ago when I was younger, I was in an extremely verbally abusive relationship that ended up turning into a physical altercation after I finally ended it.

From being cursed at and humiliated in the worst ways to constantly being provoked for a reaction and to being manipulated to always be the one to say sorry in the end, I stayed in that relationship far. too. long.

The first time I knew things were not right and should have ended it was when the comment, "She's not my girlfriend, she's my b*tch" was proudly said in front of all my friends. I wish I had a stronger will that wasn't so easily broken. I wish I had known my worth and cherished myself more. I wish my friends were more forceful in making me end the relationship, but I wish I had actually chosen to listen to them instead of tuning them out to the repeated defense of, "Everything's fine," "Everything's okay."

Looking back now, I do wish more than anything, that I had the inner voice convincing me, "You're worth it...you're worth more."

But, as with every hump we overcome in life, I'm grateful that I can take what I experienced and empathize with others who go through the same struggles. I can support other women with genuine understanding and help them know that they have the strength to get themselves out of the wrong situations and learn to accept the right situations, because they are so worth it.

I share my personal story only to highlight that there are really faces behind statistics. Maybe one of you who read this went through or are going through something painful and need to hear that you're worth it. You deserve what you're worth, and your worth is priceless.

I baked 50 cookies for the precious 50 girls who were expected to show up at the event. Each cookie was uniquely hand-decorated, and reflect how beautifully unique each of those girls are.